What is a cuck and what is cuckolding? A beginner’s guide to the fetish

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In modern day parlance, ‘cuck’ has unfortunately become tied to far-right movements and Men’s Rights Activists as they try to insult other men who stand up for nifty ideas such as feminism.

Basically, it’s a term that gets thrown around on twitter a lot by people too scared to come out from behind their keyboard.

However, historically, it refers to a man who has an adulterous partner. In fetish terms, a cuckold is complicit in this and gets his kicks from watching his wife with another man.

Therefore, I find it nonsensical that it’s now being used as some kind of insult – especially as there’s every chance the boys using it have never felt the touch of a woman, let alone one hot enough to command two men in the bedroom.

As with every kink, there are a wonderful myriad of things to think about if you’re thinking of giving this a go. I would also suggest thinking long and hard about it – it’s not one to enter into lightly if you’re in a solid relationship.

What is the real turn-on? Is it the humiliation?

When working with a submissive client, I would often use the threat of bringing another man in to ‘show him how it’s done’.

It’s also often tied into ‘Small Penis Humiliation’. Many men would tell me they can’t satisfy me with their own tackle, so I’d be better with a

Bull (see below) instead.

Sometimes it’s the thought of acting as ‘fluffer’ for everyone involved, or doing the clean-up afterwards. But that might be best for our intermediate students of the artform.

The Cuck

The Cuck is the submissive partner, watching their other half have a whale of a time with someone deemed to be more worthy of her sexual prowess.

A friend of mine within the fetish scene saw this as being the very basic level of his submission; he wasn’t worthy of touching his partner, let alone with anything so pathetic as his own penis, so he regularly watched her with someone else.

‘Sometimes I would be allowed to do the foreplay. If I wanted to go down on her I would also ‘have to’ go down on him as well.’

However, other chaps I’ve spoken to were a lot more relaxed, and just saw it as a great way to watch their partner enjoying themselves.

The Bull

This is the third-party, brought in to the bedroom to satisfy the Cuckoldress (or Cuckolder? After all, woman and gay men might be digging this too).

‘Bull’ as a term makes it sound like they need to be muscular and bestial. They don’t. They don’t even need to be male.

Also, contrary to popular belief, they don’t need to have a bigger penis. (Although some couples will see it as an advantage)

The Bull isn’t there to be in an open marriage, they’re not there to dominate anyone (unless it’s asked for).

The Cuckoldress

The dominant partner. (I’m aware it’s a sweeping generalisation to say it’s usually the women in a heterosexual relationship, however, that is the most common kind of cuckold scenario.)

In my research, I’ve come across many wannabe cucks trying to find a suitable Cuckoldress, mainly as part of a relationship as the emotional attachment can’t be recreated with a sex worker.

It’s harder for a woman to realise she wants cuckold activities in her life, as we’re so trained to believe it’s wrong in a relationship. But if you and your partner want it, do it.

I would say that if you are looking to broach the subject with your partner, try using it as a bit of dirty-talk first.

A lifestyle choice?

Many practicing cucks do so as part of a lifestyle choice. To them, it’s not simply something you can do as a one-off – it’s emotional as they’re in a long-term relationship with their partner.

Sometimes, it’s nothing to do with kink or BDSM. They may have many reasons why they’re unable to sleep with their partner, and have chosen to give them the freedom to seek a physical relationship elsewhere.

More: Lifestyle

If you’re in a situation where you sacrifice a physical relationship – not through any desire but just to see your partner happy – then it should be commended, surely?

Are you ready?

For some it’s an earnest desire, for others it’s a necessary life choice. Many also reside in the tricky waters between the two, and that’s OK too.

The one thing you do need to be certain of is that you’re ready to participate, and see your partner participating too.

A lot of emotional baggage can come with such an activity, so talk it out and make sure you know why you want it, and what will be the ultimate turn ons so you can enjoy it to the full extent.