What 12 Women Learned From Making the First Move

Signifying you’re interested in someone takes guts, but there’s so much reward to be had. Beyond the obvious-a potential relationship-you can walk away having learned something about yourself. Here, ELLE readers share how taking a chance taught them something.

«I had just quit my job, moved to a new city, started my MBA, and broken up with my longterm boyfriend. I was very much starting fresh and embracing new experiences. When I saw Wyle, I was immediately drawn to him. I’m pretty shy, and it’s not really my nature to make the first move, but I decided since I was already so far out of my comfort zone with all the changes in my life, why not just go for it? I walked up to him after class, introduced myself, and offered to drive him home. We hit it off immediately. I had actually attended undergrad in the same city a couple years before that, so I knew the city well and offered to show him around as an excuse to hang out with him more.

«I had just quit my job, moved to a new city, started my MBA, and broken up with my longterm boyfriend. I was very much starting fresh and embracing new experiences. When I saw Wyle, I was immediately drawn to him. I’m pretty shy, and it’s not really my nature to make the first move, but I decided since I was already so far out of my comfort zone with all the changes in my life, why not just go for it? I walked up to him after class, introduced myself, and offered to drive him home. We hit it off immediately. I had actually attended undergrad in the same city a couple years before that, so I knew the city well and offered to show him around as an excuse to hang out with him more.

I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t make that first move, but I’ve learned that it’s so important to go after what you want, not just in relationships, but with everything

«I was opposed to online dating for a long time, but I just wasn’t having luck meeting people organically. I loved that Bumble was started by a woman who was sick of being bombarded with a lot of messages, and, for me, being able to reach out when I felt comfortable was a relief. It allowed me to really think about whom I wanted to start a conversation with.

After matching with Ben, we talked for about a month. Our schedules were really busy, which was a blessing because we got to know each other before we met in real life. caribbeancupid app When we finally met, we went to a little barbecue joint and it wasn’t awkward at all. Like a lot of women, I complained [about being single], but now my theory is, I f I’m not putting myself out there, if I’m not trying, I can’t complain.»

I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t make that first move, but I’ve learned that it’s so important to go after what you want, not just in relationships, but with everything

«I was opposed to online dating for a long time, but I just wasn’t having luck meeting people organically. I loved that Bumble was started by a woman who was sick of being bombarded with a lot of messages, and, for me, being able to reach out when I felt comfortable was a relief. It allowed me to really think about whom I wanted to start a conversation with.