Look at this the found and same it become pleasantly descriptive of this OP’s empathy because of this man.

We’d make sure he understands, because for the reason that situation, let me know. I would personally guide the discussion to previous relationships or lesbians generally speaking, or something like that where it is not TOTALLY without warning. However’d state one thing over the relative lines of «I been attempting to point out that i am frequently just attracted to / date females — in reality, we have not slept san francisco sugar daddy with a guy since senior school.» That is correct, and when he has concerns, he will presumably question them. You might like to clearly give him authorization to inquire about you any concern or further bring it up.

I do believe telling him sooner is way better. It is most most most likely if you wait that it won’t matter to him, and it’ll only get weirder. On that off opportunity it does matter to him, he is most probably maybe not some body you need to date anyhow. Plus, once he knows, you can casually point out an ex or developing during [whenever] without censoring your self. You will manage to express any nervousness about sex with him.

We think the not-censoring your self the most reasons that are important make sure he understands, really. I’ve a few major psychological state dilemmas (both past and present), and it’s really vital that you me personally that my significant other and [most of my] close friends understand at the least a little about them. I really don’t like being place in a place with an individual who I’m near to where i’ve one thing I would like to state, but need certainly to censor myself since it would awkwardly expose one thing they do not learn about me personally.

(not so strongly related my response, but i am additionally girl whom identifies as queer and it is presently dating a guy (also when it comes to time that is first senior high school, as well as for me personally, the 1st time since developing). Nevertheless, my queerness had been a non-issue in this relationship since we have been friends for a very long time and he currently knew that i am drawn to ladies quite often. ) published by insectosaurus at 1:25 PM may 30, 2009

Simply tell him soonish, as casually and matter-of-factly as O.C. stated. If he is the type or variety of man you discover appealing, he is possibly the sorts of man who is able to move with it. We’d become more concerned about the 4-years-4-months thing, which he’d possess some type of rebound-issue (either planning to get emotionally severe even more quickly than you, or no way being up for a significant relationship without which makes it explicit. or thinking he is in a few days and realizing he is perhaps perhaps maybe not the following month).

Having said that, should you choose simply tell him (say, this week) and then understand 3-4 days from given that this boy-girl thing works in your favor (and also this relationship is, or might be, more than a novelty-exploratory-fling) then you may would you like to make that clearly (but casually-matter-of-factly) known to him. Males do not constantly (frequently never) select through to that sorts of thing (a lady changing the way in which she sees/thinks-about/feels-about a relationship) without one being made explicit. published by K.P. at 1:42 PM may 30, 2009

I am hoping your pals are nicer for you about this than my ex’s buddies had been to her. Terms like «traitor» got thrown around a whole lot.

This after which some. And I also got actually threatened and lots of mad diatribes from a number of her buddies and ex’s once I was in a situation that is similar your man-friend, OP. posted by YoBananaBoy at 2:15 PM may 30, 2009

I might state lay the important points out for him, but allow him end up being the judge. Never state such things as «I’m afraid that i’m going to be a dud» or «we think we may break your heart.» Simply make sure he understands you’ve only ever dated girls, and therefore dating a guy is just a thing that is new you.

Of course you are not searching for a committed relationship, simply make sure he understands! I do not genuinely believe that really has much regarding the gender/sexuality thing. It is more a matter of once you understand everything you’re to locate in him, and interacting that clearly. posted by Afroblanco at 3:01 PM may 30, 2009

so when you stated you did not desire to be a ‘dud,’ i did not think you had heightened sexual performance in head; I was thinking you intended you did not require a relationship to go south about this man therefore immediately after the past one

So far as ‘telling’ him:

«Sweetie there will be something we must speak about. We had been convinced I became a lesbian. That is until we came across. Now I’m not sure and require you to assist me right here. Are you going to?» published by notreally at 3:07 PM may 30, 2009

We wholeheartedly trust radioamy and spindle right right right here. Sexuality is quite fluid, and I also do not think it is worth investing a great deal worrying all about labels. I have individually been right right here, and I also’ve been here when it comes to relationships, so when you begin thinking an excessive amount of about just what to phone your self and just just what field you squeeze into, you could get a small missing.