Always use a transgender person’s chosen name
Some transgender people call it «deadnaming» when a trans person’s birth name is revealed without their permission, but the term is not universally accepted as it implies a trans person «dies» when they transition
Some transgender people are able to obtain a legal name change from a court. However, many transgender people cannot afford a legal name change or are not yet old enough to legally change their name. They should be afforded the same respect for their chosen name as anyone else who uses a name other than their birth name (e.g., Lady Gaga, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg). When writing about a transgender person’s chosen name, do not say «she wants to be called,» «she calls herself,» «she goes by Marisol,» or other phrases that cast doubt on a transgender person’s gender. Do not put quotation e (or the pronoun) that reflects that person’s gender identity.
Disclosing birth names. When a transgender person’s birth name is used in a story, the implication is almost always that it is the person’s «real name.» But in fact, a transgender person’s chosen name is their real name, whether or not they are able to obtain a court-ordered name change, which can be expensive and involves complex bureaucratic obstacles. If the person is not able to answer questions about their birth name, err on the side of caution and do not report it.
Cisgender people rarely think about pronouns because the gendered pronoun people use for them is aligned with the sex they were assigned at birth
Ask for the pronoun a person uses, and use it. We all use pronouns, and pronouns convey gender information. If you say
Many nonbinary people use the singular they pronoun. It is increasingly common for people who have a nonbinary gender identity and/or gender expression to use they/them as their pronoun. The singular they/them pronoun does not have gendered connotations. For example: «Devin writes eloquently about their non-binary identity. They have also appeared frequently in the media to talk about their gender expression and the way people react to the way they dress.» The singular they has been adopted in all leading style guides, including AP, APA, MLA, and Chicago, and now appears in many dictionaries as well.
Some people ple, «My name is Jose and I use he/they pronouns.» People who use multiple pronouns may wish you to choose one of those pronouns and use it consistently, or they may wish you to use both pronouns interchangeably when referring to them. For example, «Jose is an excellent co-worker. He always turns in projects on deadline, and they also volunteer to organize the office holiday party every year.» (For more about what it means to be nonbinary, please see «In Focus: Nonbinary People.»)